Photographs and Ipecac

Photographs and ipecac, Christmas cards you sent to me. Ah ipecac, that magic elixir of love. Nothing spells romance like a gourmet meal, a nice bottle of vintage red, and a serving of... yep, you guessed it, ipecac! There is a new trend in Japanese youth culture were young couples are going out and binging at fancy restaurants and then downing ipecac to induce vomiting. The is even and emerging subculture of high end restaurants that are springing up all over Tokyo and other large cities in Japan that offer servings of the elixir to couples after meals. The couples are then welcome to vomit in private vomitoriums located in the rear of the restaurants. Don't assume the vomitoriums are anything like restrooms, no these are plush rooms with showers, day beds and mirrors everywhere. Couples that are too weak after their experiences can request to be driven home or to their hotels. Could this trend make it's way into Europe and even here to America. Already couples from Europe and the US are traveling to Japan to have a chance to experience this strange new phenomena themselves. There is little doubt that some advantageous business person will bring this back to their home country.

Sorry folks, due to recent complaints that my photos of young Japanese kids in love are too disgusting I was forced to remove the photos. Some bitter old people can't stand to see happy young people in love.

So my blogs aren't funny?

Well, somebody (I won't mention your name Amy) today told me that they thought my blog would be a lot funnier than it is (sorry Amy, I mean somebody). She or he reminded me that I sent them a funny message on Myspace. Something about stuff in Spanish and chicken feet. Lo siento! You want chicken feet and people speaking espanol, then go over to the Roosevelt Market. Ochos huevos, vatos!

Blogging is hard

Well, blogging turned out harder than I had originally thought it would be. I mean, I don't always have the dang computer with me. I don't always have a pad of paper with me. Maybe I should carry around a little notepad that I can put down all my thoughts in when I'm going about my day. I mean I just come up with random shit all the time. Usually my random thoughts have something to do with goats or chickens or sex. I think I am going through a second puberty. I don't know what is going on with me. I am usually a pretty "ready" guy, but lately I am really "ready." My wife thinks I am crazy, and we just had a baby a while ago. My freakin' libido is out of control. I feel bad for her, but she's a good sport.

Everybody poops

Poop is funny. Guys think that their poop is pretty cool. I know that when I take an interesting one I am very impressed. I want to show the world. Jen (my wife) used to be easy to trick and come and look at it. But now, she knows better. Now I have to make shit up to trick her into coming into the bathroom to look at it. I'll be like "ahh! I fell down, I'm hurt, come help me!" Then I'll get between her and the door and in our bathroom there is not much room and she ends up seeing the poop in the toilet. She's all like "that's really why you wanted me to come in here isn't it?" And I'm all like "but look at it, I mean look how huge it is, and see that right there, that's dinner from last night, and..." You get the point. Maybe it is gross, but I look at it as an artform. I mean, I created something. I gave birth to it. Sometimes labor can be quite extensive depending on how many salads I have been eating. Ok, I'll stop talking about poop now.

The Young Indian Jones

Oh River Phoenix, why did tho have to leave us so prematurely? I remember you in Stand By Me, and Indiana Jones. I remember all of the posters in the girls lockers at school. Ok, so I never was a huge fan of River Phoenix, but he was very talented, and I really loved quite a few of his movies. Of course though I was always jealous of all the girls that were so in love with him. And poor me with my Coke bottle glasses, was left with out a girlfriend. Did I blame River, well sometimes, but I also blamed The New Kids on the Block too. I was having a conversation with a friend today and she did not know who River Phoenix was. So googled him and came up with the Wikipedia article on him. I had forgotten how many good movies he was in, and how young he had died. 23! I mean when I was 23 I was having a good time, young, married and in love, going to school, just having an all around blast. What a tragedy to throw that all away. What could have been for River? The world will never know. Rest in peace River Jude Bottom.

Mormons

So do polygamists ever decide that they have too many wives? Who decides how many wives the guys can have? How many wives would I want? Yes, these are the things I think about when I am trying to sleep at night. Some days I don't really think that I would want anymore wives. I mean you know when women get together and they start bitching about their asshole husbands, well with Mormons they would all be talking about me... and that would suck. But on the other hand... ok, ahh...

Life, death, and in between

I found out today that my uncle that has lung cancer may decide to stop treatment. The chemo that he has been receiving has been making him so sick that he can't eat or do much of anything. He is supposed to find out on Tuesday if the treatments are working and if not he has decided to quit all together. How does somebody make that decision? How do you decide that it is time for you to go? He told his wife and children this just the other day. Makes me look at my pack of Camels in a whole new way...

BREAKING NEWS! Dick shot his friend!

Dick, Dick, Dick Cheney. He sucks. Plus he shot his friend. How good of a vice president can he be if he shot his own friend? Not very good I think. I saw a bumper sticker today that said "War In Iraq keeps American families safe." WTF? Since when does war ever make anybody safe. Violence begets violence. The person also had a cross hanging from their rear view mirror. Soooo... I wrote the person a note reminding them that Jesus said to love our neighbors and our enemies (I added "not bomb the hell out of them."). I know that the person probably just got pissed off and waded the note up and threw it away, but writing that note gave me a sense of satisfaction.

Parenting

No one can survive parenting. All parents die in the end. Some folks think it is sad that after mating some insects die. The baby insect grows until it is ready to live on it's own. It will grow up and mate and die also. Really is that so bad? I mean, mating is really fun. And then you die. I think that's how I want to go.

Goats

I love goats. They are such playful animals. I am very playful. I am an animal. Therefore, I am a goat. I used to have a nickname, it was Goatboy. I had a goatee. I at a lot of stuff. And I liked to play. Some folks say that a he goat is a very smelly thing. They are large and hairy. I am large and hairy. If I don't shower, and it is hot, I too am a very smelly thing. This is all I have to say about goats for now. Check back later for more information on art, politics, social issues, world issues, and goats.