I recently took a trip to the Transylvania region of Romania, I was doing some research for my "Twilight" fan club. One of the questions that I was asking locals was what they knew about the power of garlic to fight vampires. I was surprised that when most women were asked about garlic they ran and hid. When I asked men about garlic they invited me to the cellar of an old pub in the town of Shlgashnikov. The men told me they were about to share an age old secret with me that men of Transylvania pass from one generation to the next.
Nicolai and Ivan Mustavchi (photo above) were kind enough to start the conversation. "You'a ever have'a crazy wife she try cut you?" Sure I said, who hasn't. The men roared with laughter. "Well, is'a not funny when she got you by the dinglies and she have'a that crazy look'a in her eye." No, I said, not funny at all. The men looked downcast at the notion of a wife with their "dinglies" in their hands. "Well, we'a use garlic for many year on the Vampire, and one night my great-great-great-grandad he think he get attack by Vampire. He drove that demon away with garlic and find his wife hiding in bathroom. Thats'a when he discover garlic not only work'a on blood thirsty Vampire but also crazy woman." All the men in the room nodded in agreement.
I have to say that I was astonished at this new found use for garlic. I wanted to try my luck with some locals, so Nicolai and Ivan agreed to go and piss off their sister and then let me hit on her. I made some rude gestures in her direction and before she could slap me upside the head I pulled out a bulb of garlic. She ran hissing into the lady's room not to return. I couldn't wait to get home to my wife. Thanks Transylvania!
My wife after I pulled a bulb of garlic on her
2 comments:
Where do you come up with this stuff? Oh well, it made me LOL. :)
lol, just so you know, you have my sister hooked reading your blog haha. So, what's up with you losing all this weight, huh? You look awesome!
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