Tierra del Puerto or Soggy Lesbians or Good Luck Rae!

I have a friend named Rachael (Squirty Dumpling). She is from Portland. Rachael has taught me a few things about Portland that are very interesting. She tells me that Portland is not always cold. I have always heard that Portland was cold and rainy all of the time. Rachael did confirm that it does rain a lot. Also she told me that Portland has one of the largest concentrations of lesbians in the country. Huh... very interesting. Thanks Rae, I feel like a much better person knowing these things. Poor Rachael has to go back to bleak cold Portland. I am lucky to live in sunny warm West Michigan. I'm glad I don't have to live with all of those soggy lesbians; but Rachael does though. Good luck Rae!

Obsessive Compulsive's Guide to Hand Washing

Ok folks, do you really need somebody to tell you when to wash your hands? I mean, wasn't your mamma supposed to do that when you were a kid. Well if she didn't I have posted the below (from the great Kent County Health Department's website) for all you that were not properly educated.

It is important to wash your hands at the following times:
Starting work	Eating or drinking
Preparing food	Preparing food
Serving food	Visiting the restroom
Eating	Assisting a child in restroom
Dressing an injury	Dressing an injury
Taking a medication	Coughing or sneezing
	Wiping a child’s nose
	Changing diapers

So there you go. The complete Obsessive Compulsive Disorder's guide to hand washing. Do you really need someone to tell you that you should wash your hands after you change a shitty diaper or get done dressing an injury? Hmmm... I wonder if I should wash my hands now that I am done lancing that boil off that homeless man? I mean really? And are really supposed to go and wash our hands every time we cough? Come on, I'm a smoker, I cough like 50 times a day. If followed the advice of the Kent County Health Commission I would have raw bleeding stumps where my hands used to be.

After looking through some photos on the internet of raw bleeding stumps I came up with a really good one. I was gaging when Rachael asked me what I was doing. I told her about the photo I had found. She suggested that I just tell y'all that I found some gross photos of stumps. Ok, here you go Rachael!

Hotta than a Mama Jama

You've heard it said that if you don't like the weather in Michigan just wait 5 minutes. Well, what a day it has been today in Michigan. This morning it was almost chilly and by midday it was about 85 degrees. WHEW! And boy was I happy to get home to my wife's list of chores for me to do. What a lucky man I am. It was alright though, I lost about 10lbs in water weight, got a head ache, and hurt my back carrying all the damn air conditioners up from the basement. Hell of a day. Tomorrow should be cool though, I hear we have a moderate chance of some really wicked thunderstorms! SWEET! I love thunderstorms.

This photo was taken after our thunderstorm today.